Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Have more animations. They're prime for hits.

Everyone in my field is fat. Fact of sitting on your butt for 12 hours. You end up snacking all day out of boredom, which leads to packing on the pounds. I fell for that right off the bat, but now I'm wiser. With an adjusted diet and a little discipline, it's actually pretty damn easy to lose or at least maintain your current bodyweight.



Pro Tips for being sedentary;

  1. Be cheap. Junk food has a poor cost-to-sustenance ratio. Bang for buck is my motivator.
  2. Drink coffee. Reduces hunger and makes you happy. Just don't add cream and sugar. Drink it black.
  3. Eat dead animal. Forget fancy sauces and breading. Protein makes you a man, carbs make you soft.
  4. Hate yourself. The Dark Side of the force is more powerful - self-loathing should keep you thin.
  5. Move. Even if it's just to go look longingly in your empty fridge.
  6. Broccoli. Eat lots. Raw. It makes you poop.

Trust me here. My most popular blog post of all time is basically a picture of me shirtless. Diet blogs and stuff link to it. I'll use that empirical evidence as a positive reference. 


Sunday, September 23, 2012

Camp life

I'm living in "Camp".

It's basically just rows of portable accommodations where people who work in the petroleum industry eat, sleep and recreate. 

The corridors of rooms have paper thin walls and hollow floors.

So I get off my shift about an hour before another crew. I eat, shower, and get all snuggled in for a nice sleep when these guys come thundering in. It's like a freaking stompocalypse in my dreams.

They're all;
STOMPSTOMPSTOMP

And I'm all;
I'm gonna choke a bitch

Thursday, September 20, 2012

I look like a reserve dog

My face when I'm told I look like a reserve dog.

"You're nothing but balls and a ribcage."

Thursday, September 6, 2012

I love crashing.

Nothing is better.
Have some pre-amble, too.
For added value.

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